bumbering around

Here’s the thing!

When you are learning a new language everyone tells you that you must practice your speaking in real situations…I have even been known to tell my students the same thing!!

So here I am in China – learning Chinese – who would have thought …and after 2 weeks of attending class I was able to say the following in faltering Chinese…

Hello             I am called Jackie      I am Australian                         I am a teacher

nǐ hǎo            wǒ  jiào  jié kuí lín       wǒ  shì  ào dà lì yà rén             wǒ  shì  lǎo shī

 你好                   我叫杰奎琳                  我是澳大利亚人                        我是老师

I decided to introduce myself to the women who work in the corner store and my door man.

The first attempt (armed with script) went quite well – the women were really encouraging and seemed to understand that my name was Jackie and I was a foreign teacher from Australia.

Success breeds confidence it is said…

So I front up to the door man without notes – after all I have got this down pat!!! – how hard can it be???

I say my lines like a well rehearsed actor and he looks at me dumbfounded …ok then,  I said it again…slowly… really concentrating on my pronunciation…and again he looks at me with a strange expression on his face…

Bloody Hell – now determined…I tried a third time… to the same response and finally… defeated…I turned tail and glumly went to my room…muttering unkind things under my breath!

I had given it no further thought until today!

Barbara my Aussie (and lifesaver) friend came to my classroom (smaller than a shoebox) and laughingly shared a funny story about a student who had told her in Chinese that she needed to go to the toilet. 

The student had said …

      wǒ   yào     lā shǐ

        我  要        拉屎

which literarily translates as I want to take a shit

We laughed ourselves to the point of tears – which is not uncommon…(all done without the help of mind altering substances) and then she showed me the word on our handy translating app…Pleco

“ mmm ” said I, 

“ that word is teacher – I am confused ”

“ Well ”   said Barbie, kindly…

“ actually no – this word is teacher and this word is take a shit ”

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! – have you worked it out yet?

    lǎo shī   (teacher )                        lā shǐ (take a shit )

          老师                                                       拉屎

Yep that’s the one!!!!!!!!!!!

I had proudly told the door man that I was called Jackie, was Australian and that I needed to take a shit!

Pride Cometh before the Fall!

Happy Bumbering!